Joe's Team Mates: The Fringe

The fringe photo

One name that has appeared more than others in the Team Mates series is Joe Williams, and it's true that he's a divisive character. By far the biggst moaner in the first team squad, Joe is also one of the best defenders in the Welsh Premier League and so, whilst it must be a nightmare to be around him for too long, I'm sure his team mates, and everyone at the club, is more than happy to put up with him in small doses. 

It's also fair to say that I have been looking forward to receiving Joe's answers more than any other player, apart from Messi(!), and he certainly has not disappointed!

One thing I have always refused to do with the blog is let anyone tell me what I should, or should not put in it, and so, whilst Joe hs asked me not to use his 'fringe' photo, for obvious reasons, I'm using it. Just because I can.   

One of the team's most consistent players since his arrival at the Oval, his answers are also consistently, and brutally, honest so here's what Joe thinks of his team-mates....

Which three team mates would you invite for dinner and why? And what would you cook for them? 

Tough one this because you could invite any combination of players and have a laugh with all of them. Gruff John would be the entertainment for the evening on the piano and I’d have Fish waiting on the table for us.

My three guests at the table would be....

I’d have to go for my mate Melvin Evo, my partner down the right hand side.

Big Gaz Eds would have to be at the table, known him for a long, long time now and he’s a top bloke.

Leo lives on Starmix

Then Rambo would make the table, we sit next to each other in the changies and if anyone needed some moisturiser during the meal Rambo could sort us all out.

Meal - Hickorys, We’ve had a fair few good nights out in Hickorys and Gaz Eds could sort us out with a VIP table because he runs Chester.

Ideal person to be stuck on a desert island with?

Not Noah as he can’t even cook toast and only eats Haribo starmix!

It’s a close call between Leo and Ry Wills but I’d go with Ry Wills I reckon. He performed very well in the zoom quizzes during the lockdown so some good knowledge there and he’s a grafter so we’d have a shelter built in no time.

Worst trainer - yes Breese dog and Rambo are up there but in fairness they do live hours away. I’m going for Brads because he always cuts corners in the warm-up and I always get in his head, just like when I used to play against him when he was at Port. 

Joe bullying Brads during a local derby

Worst Barber - again Brads gets a mention, no explanation needed. However, I’m going for the gaffer Sean Eards though because I’ve never seen anyone have two fringes, one on the front and one down the side (he’ll be gutted I’ve gone for him there because he loves his hair). He should really borrow one of them to Brads to be honest.

Worst Banter – Fish. I feel like I’ve taught him a lot over the years so his banter has improved but he just can’t resist a nibble. Nothing makes me laugh more than when he has a bite which is most trainings and games. Credit where it’s due though he’s probably the most passionate football man I’ve come across and is a top guy.

Hardman - Young Noah Edwards, never ever backs down from anyone, he’s like a little Jack Russell. He’s come out of his shell massively since first joining and is also a dark horse with the old karaoke in the car on the way home from away games, loves the classics Fleetwood Mac and U2. Leo Psycho Smith deserves a mention here as well, very tough man!!!

Biggest Joker - the team is full of them, the banter is always flying around the changies so you’ve got to be on your toes. I’d say Eards though, he’s always laughing and would never a miss a chance to take the mick out of any of the lads.

Good on a night out - Gaz Eds always organises all the nights out and is a right laugh after a few sherbets, as is Daz Bach, once he gets going there’s no stopping him. All of the lads are great on a night out to be fair and we’ve had some absolute belting ones

Joe was kind enough to provide this photo of Evo

Worst on a night out - my mate Jamie Breese gets very loose after a beer but I couldn’t really put my finger on anyone really. Brads has the worst gear but he’s a good laugh after a shandy.

Biggest Moaner - Yes I’m the worst moaner but I just hate losing and I can’t help myself. It doesn’t help that Fish can’t count! But because I can’t choose myself I’ll say Evo. It’s close call between him and Brooky but I’ve never seen anyone spit their dummy as bad as Evo when he gets subbed, and then I have to hear him complain in the car on the way home whilst Noah’s singing in the back.

Who would I not want in my relay team?

Jay Crowther - but he’s been smashing the running during the lockdown so could prove me wrong.

Sion Brads is weighed down by his big Beyoncé bum and he’d probs end up running the wrong way and end up back in Blaenau.

Peo

The big Giraffe, Gary Edwards, but maybe he could blind the other competitors with them white teeth of his.

Lastly, I’ll choose Mike Peo because he’d defo get injured after five meters.

If Cai Babs was still at the club he’d have made the team though but if there was a photo finish his big nose would give him a huge advantage

Funniest moment - there’s been a hell of a lot over the years but I’ll go with when Eards absolutely pied Fish live on ‘Sgorio’. He was absolutely raging and we all hammered him for 

it!

Next up I’ll go for Gareth Melvin Evans....